Knowing the right way to engage with colleagues at work can be intimidating. Maybe you want to get to know your co-workers better, or collaborate more effectively with your team. Maybe you’re motivated to be an ally in your workplace. No matter your circumstances, we have your guide to the questions you can ask at work, as well as those to avoid.
Questions you can ask at work…
…to get to know your coworkers:
1. What are some of your prior experiences? What are you looking forward to?
Asking your colleagues, especially new ones, about their prior experiences (professional or educational) can help you understand their background, as well as the work they enjoy, what motivates them, and what skills and expertise they can contribute.
⊗ Do not ask specific questions about why they may have left a previous job or if they were considering multiple offers.
2. What are your hobbies or interests?
Getting to know coworkers outside of job responsibilities builds rapport and trust. If you already have an established relationship with a colleague, use your best judgment based on prior interactions for the types of conversations they would feel comfortable having with you. Also consider who else is in the room, and how they may influence your colleague’s level of comfortability having these types of conversations.
⊗ Do not ask questions that are too personal. Take note of your colleague’s direct and indirect social cues to gauge their comfort level, and respect their answers. The Culture Guides in GlobeSmart have locally relevant conversation topics you can use for direction.
3. What do you wish people knew about you?
This is a great question for building relationships with people you’ve worked with for a while. Perhaps you already know their hobbies and about their family, and asking an open-ended question such as this one gives your colleague the freedom to provide a response they are comfortable sharing, and may not have had an opportunity to share throughout the years.
…to boost collaboration:
1. What is your work style?
Being aware of the similarities and differences in your work styles will set you up for more effective collaboration. The GlobeSmart Profile is the perfect tool for these conversations. Profile Comparisons show your commonalities and differences in communication style, approach to risk, and more. You’ll receive custom advice for collaborating better together based on your work styles.
⊗ Be sure you don’t have an accusatory or condescending tone when asking about work style. There is no right or wrong work style, and keep in mind that work style preferences are heavily influenced by cultural background. Nobody should feel shame for their preferred way of working.
2. How would you like feedback to be communicated?
Asking this at the beginning of a project or when building a relationship with someone new on your team is beneficial so you each have an understanding of what to expect from the other as you’re collaborating. This will help avoid miscommunications and potential frustrations.
3. At what times do you prefer to have meetings?
For global businesses, it is necessary to be aware of time zones and the realities of virtual collaboration. Additionally, within work hours there are times of the day that do not work well for different people. For example, maybe your coworker needs to bring their child to school at a certain time each morning, or maybe they have a disability that requires their attention at various times. Asking this at the outset goes a long way in creating an inclusive and compassionate work environment.
⊗ Avoid asking specific questions about someone’s time limitations. Respect what they are willing to share about their identity and remember that there are aspects of our colleagues’ identities we’ll never know about. Be careful to not judge colleagues that have fewer hours available than you.
…to be an ally:
1. What are your pronouns?
These are simple and kind ways to ask about someone’s identity so you can refer to them correctly. Our Quick Guide to Gender Pronouns can help you become more inclusive of all gender identities in the workplace.
⊗ Do not ask: “What are you?” This phrasing comes across as insensitive. Also avoid asking about someone’s sexuality, as gender and sexuality are two different things, and it is inappropriate to ask someone about their sexuality at work.
2. I noticed your reaction earlier—did that make you uncomfortable?
If you witness an interaction among your coworkers that you know was inappropriate, or you can tell from the reaction that it was unwanted, you can privately ask this question (or a version of it) to demonstrate compassion and solidarity. Show respect for how much they’d like to share and do not probe further.
3. How would you like this to be resolved?
Empathy goes beyond an apology (“I’m so sorry they said that to you.”) The goal is to get to a resolution, and your allyship can help bring that about for your colleague. This will look different according to the situation, context, and those involved, so listen to your colleague and honor their wishes for next steps. Assess your sphere of influence and offer direct assistance. Even if your colleague doesn’t want to proceed with next steps, they now know you cared enough to ask, and they know they have an ally in you. It’s better to ask than to do nothing, and risk your colleague feeling hurt.
⊗ Asking “Is there anything I can do to help?” can sometimes be hard for people to answer, so it is helpful to be as specific as possible. Consider the different ways you are able to offer assistance, and provide these specific examples. You could rephrase the question and ask: “I can help you with A, B, or C, if you’d like?”
Demonstrating allyship doesn’t always involve asking someone how you can help. A key part of allyship is being ready to speak up when you witness non-inclusive behavior. Maybe you’ve overheard someone use the wrong pronouns to refer to a colleague, or maybe someone’s used a non-inclusive term in a meeting. Use your best judgment in deciding when speaking up in the moment and when to speak to your colleague separately after the incident. Keep in mind that homogeneous spaces are where bias and bigotry can show the most, and it’s even more important to speak up when the people of marginalized identities are not in the room.
4. What do you need right now?
Sometimes things like world events and personal tragedies are so overwhelming that they are hard to ignore at work. When someone is struggling, personally or professionally, it is very helpful for them to hear this question, especially from their manager. Give them time and space to gather their thoughts and allow them to tell you what they need to feel supported at this time at work. Consider how you can help, like offering more time to complete tasks or encouraging them to take periodic breaks.
⊗ Refrain from making decisions and taking actions on someone’s behalf without their permission. Keep in mind that as an ally, it is not about you or what you would do in the situation. Check yourself to keep from feeling offended.
As members of the global workforce we have a duty to educate ourselves and grow our awareness of the identities of others so we’re ready to be an ally when the moment arises.
Our new Exploring Our Identities workshop can help your staff develop a baseline understanding of intersectionality and the realities people of diverse identities face in the workplace.
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